Seeking Him Archives - Latte and Laundry

Loving the Hidden Enemy

February 20, 2022 No Comments

Love your ENEMIES?

I’ve often heard Luke 6:27-38 and brushed it off like, “Sure, sure Jesus, I’ve got you! I’ll love my enemies!” I have found it relatively easy to pray for and “love” those that I have deemed as enemies for years; tyrant leaders, the rude coffee barista, the loved one that betrayed, the colleague that ruled with harshness and fury, the relative that turned their back on us, or the CEO of a well known abortion provider.

I was satisfied with my effort to pick up my cross, lift them in prayer, and stand with a posture of love.

But what if I haven’t taken the time to let our Lord bring into the light the hidden ones that I’ve created as enemies of my heart? It becomes clearer as I journey waist-deep into the waters of the spiritual life, that I’ve often missed the boat.

What if we’ve been picking up the wrong “enemy” cross all these years? What if the bigger cross that Christ was asking you to lift has been dragging through the mud, weighing down your forward progression this whole time?

These hidden enemies of our hearts, have a quiet, yet dark power over our freedom, joy, and greater communion with our most perfect Father. They are not just enemies as the world defines. No, Jesus does not limit our enemies to the villains in our lives. Rather, we have to look deep to identify the sneaky “enemies of our capacity to love” that we’ve villainized and let reside in our hearts.

Every soul aches with these hidden ones that sting and pierce us. Maybe it’s your spouse who never seems to respect you, the friend that never shows up as much as you do, or the always pregnant women in your life while you struggle over fertility heartaches. Maybe it’s the friend who doesn’t have financial woes like you, the mom that appears perfect, or the seemingly happy marriage that reminds you how broken yours is.

When we open the doors and let them reside as enemies deep within us, in places once designed for love alone, we slowly become full of small, dark, and destructive rooms in the chambers of our heart. We feed pride, jealousy, and contempt in our souls.

So this week, when the Sunday Gospel reminds us to love our enemies, maybe ask God to shed light on the ones you have secretly villainized, kept hidden, and tucked away in the dark corners of your heart.

Seeking Him

The Dangerous “D” word.

June 11, 2021 No Comments

There are some words we use on a daily basis and toss around freely and carelessly in conversation without giving them any real intentional consideration. We frequently converse with such a cruising speed that we don’t put much thought into the 16,000 words that we speak on an average day. According to Wikipedia, some of the most commonly used words (other than the obvious small words such as “the”, “a”, and “is”) are “problem”, “have”, “want”, and “time”. Yet, there is one highly dangerous word that does not make the top 100 list, yet I have found myself not only hearing it but also saying it more and more over the last number of years. At face value this word is nothing more than a subtle action or linking verb used within the English language. But this is where God is so awesome, because with Him nothing is simply just face value, but often instead He peels back the layers to reveal so much more.

While talking to a friend the other day, I caught myself using this common word without even noticing. I was discussing something that I was currently struggling with when the word so easily slid off my careless tongue, “I deserve more than that.” Then as though piercing through the stormy wind, an inner voice came bellowing through “DESERVE, but who says?” I quickly quieted down this unempathetic voice and moved on.

But here I was, once again sitting in adoration, having a heart to heart with my buddy Jesus when I found myself complaining about one of my crosses that I didn’t feel like picking up and carrying upon my back. I was justifying it all to my good God, explaining that I “DO NOT deserve that” when suddenly I was pierced with an awareness of this sense once again of “but who says?”. The Webster dictionary defines the verb form of deserve as the following “to earn by service; to be worthy of (something due, either good or evil); to merit; to be entitled to;”

As I explored this word more deeply it became so clear that DESERVE is a very dangerous word. A word that we so strongly convict ourselves of, then in turn fiercely fight many battles on the simple claim that we do or do not deserve something. We start making claims of what we are entitled to, what we have merited, or what we are worthy of. Yet, though this may be the way of the world, it is certainly not the way of our Lord. Through the incarnation, God became man and set before us a path to follow. We are called to follow in the footsteps of the Son of God himself. St. Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, as Christ loved us.” Christ gave us the example of the prodigal son, who by all worldly standards, certainly did not deserve his father’s mercy and gracious joy. Or how about the day laborers who joined the workforce late yet received the same daily wages as their fellow workers who had worked many more hours than them. Did they deserve an equal pay? Once again, by worldly standards the answer would be absolutely no. But this is PRECISELY why our Lord came down and spoke in such parables, in order to crush all worldly expectations and to teach us a thing or two about breaking down the walls of “merit”, “earned”,or “worthiness.”

Yet, even after hearing these infamous lessons spoken by God himself, we can become so inward facing, comparison driven, and entitled obsessed that we begin to believe that what we do or don’t deserve is as simple 1+1=2. But folks, truth of the matter is we are all unworthy and all undeserving. But God doesn’t work by our worldly standards. God, whose mercy is endless and our entitlement nothing, often leaves us perplexed when His math looks like 9+3=142. Yet, as Amanda Jenkins recently just said “God is a god of impossible math”. Once we realize this we can slowly begin to realize how dangerous the word DESERVE really is. It centers our focus on fairness, and worthiness, and in turn rejects God impossible math of mercy and compassion. We don’t deserve Gods infinite mercy, but He pours it out anyways. We don’t deserve to be forgiven and saved, yet He came to rescue us. We certainly do not deserve to be children of the King of universe, yet He ceaselessly claims us as HIS beloveds.

God tells us through the Apostle Peter in 1 Peter 2:21 that “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.” I’ll ask you, from a worldly sense did Christ deserve to be scourged and tormented? Did Christ deserve to be betrayed and crucified? Certainly not, but this was His way.

So the next time we find ourselves so easily staking our claim to what we do or do not deserve, let’s reflect on Christ’s example, remember the dangers of this sentiment, and realize that in fact we do not deserve anything. Yet, through Christ himself we have gained everything!

Seeking Him

He Enters Through Our Cracks

February 4, 2021 2 Comments

Alright friends, I’m going to get pretty raw and real here. I had a soul stamping experience a few weeks ago that may be hard to articulate, explain or even resonate with. Yet I can feel the Lord literally pushing my fingers to type away, so here goes nothing:

I was crumpled up in a ball on the kitchen floor. I felt like I had been run over by a big plow truck, which proceeded to throw itself in reverse and run right back over my pitiful little heart. My anxiety was high and my knees were weak. As I lay there feeling completely beaten down to my core, I began to scream. Praise God the kiddos were all playing an epic game of ‘family’ in the basement, because quite frankly if they heard my shrieks they would have thought their momma had completely lost her mind.

As I replayed the painful words that I heard in my head from the voices I loved dearly, I began to cry louder. I hadn’t cried with such intensity in years. I was full on ugly crying, with puffy eyes, swollen red cheeks, and a nose that was draining onto the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I lay there crying and weeping like a toddler out of control. My heart was shattered and all of my inhibitions to stifle my tears were hopeless. I felt pathetic, weak and utterly raw. I would have been mortified if anyone caught me in such intense despair, even my patient hubby who has seen me in all my ugliness.

But this day my good God did not let me sit in my heart wrenching pain alone for very long. Maybe I should repeat that. Did you hear what I said? I didn’t say He took away my pain. In fact no, this pain lingered on for hours, days and weeks to come. I said He did not let me sit in it alone for very long. I lay there crying out to him “Lord, I don’t understand, I’m just trying to be obedient – yet this is what I get? It doesn’t make any sense!” After what felt like days of laying around on my sticky floor, I pulled myself up. I proceeded to find the baby, scooped her up in my arms and took her to her bedroom for a nap.

Once again, I found myself in the quiet solace of a rocking chair, in a dark room with the hush of a soothing sound machine. Nestled in my arms, I nursed the baby and spoke internally to my Lord. “God, I feel broken, utterly broken. My heart feels heavy like a heart shaped slab of concrete that has been CRACKED wide open down the middle!” No sooner had I bellowed these words from the innermost broken chambers of my soul, than our Lord burst through my thoughts with His revealing truth. “But Suzanne it’s through these cracks that you often allow me to enter.” I was flooded with an image. An image that was no longer simply a sad looking pitiful concrete heart cracked in two. Instead, blinding rays of light were entering in through these cracks and pouring out of every other crack, crevice or small opening left behind by the wounds that others, along with myself, have caused my heart over the years.

This truth hit me like a collapsed building worth of bricks. He hadn’t desired my heartache, the painful words I heard, or the sadness that had flooded over me. But He knows me so intimately and revealed that sometimes, just sometimes, it is only through these broken experiences that crack me wide open and force the locked up pieces of my heart to allow Him in.

This experience drew me so close to His tender loving embrace, that I can honestly say (and this is very rare for my weak human nature) that I found a sweet delight in all of my pain. It didn’t remove my gut wrenching heartache, but rather it filled me with an unearthly gratitude for His goodness, and His intimate and tender care. My eyes were wide open and were able to see how this pain that I was completely carried away by had landed me right into my Heavenly Father’s arms. The lack of love I was feeling when my heart felt shattered paled in comparison to the overwhelming love and redeeming grace that He flooded me with.

The next morning, I woke with bloodshot eyes and a fragile, but light filled heart. I was reflecting on all that He had revealed to me the night before, when the baby walked over and started yanking on my sleeve to get my attention. She had recently become so obsessed with wearing as many rosaries around her neck as possible. Minus the potential choking hazard this presents, I thought this habit was simply adorable, but hadn’t given it any further thought.

Pulling on the rosaries around her neck, she proceeded to climb onto the couch next to me. She leaned her sweet little face in front of mine and started tapping on my chest. My distracted train of thought was suddenly broken and I looked at her with curiosity. I found her playing doctor with the rosary beads that were strewn around her neck. She took the crucifix and placed it strategically on my slowly beating heart. I started to giggle. I could sense our Heavenly Father winking down at me in this very moment. She was literally trying to listen to and heal my heart using the crucifix as her stethoscope. I watched as she proceeded to do this to every other person in our household and I began to cry. To no surprise, it was once again a full on ugly cry, tears, snot and all!!!

I had always tried to trust in the truth we hear from Psalms 18:28 “You Lord keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” But had I fully understood to the depths which this extended? No! I hadn’t realized that it is precisely through the crushing weight of the cross that we can actually feel the releasing lightness of His lifting strength.

Our Lord desires to unite himself with us and heal us from our pain, but often, unintentionally, we have all of our stony walls built up so tight that we can not hear or feel him trying to push His way in. He doesn’t want us to suffer, bear the brokenness of this world, or experience the heartache that comes from our own human nature. But we can begin to taste His heavenly delight when we realize that maybe, just maybe, He allows our hearts to break wide open because sometimes it is through these cracks alone that we truly allow him in.

We frequently try to place Band-Aids over our crumpled up stony hearts through distraction or vices. But no Band-Aid has the strength to hold rock together. Yet, our Heavenly Father’s love? That is something entirely different! His light has the burning strength to melt and once again unite the broken pieces of our heart back together . So do not be discouraged when your heart has been cracked and shattered wide open. Instead, have faith and trust in knowing that our Lord is on the other side of the gaping entryway left behind by your pain. He has been waiting, ready to enter and fill your heart with His consuming rays of love!

Seeking Him

The New is Here!

January 3, 2021 2 Comments

Okay folks, here we are, it is 2021. I’m not sure about you but I was pretty confident that we weren’t going to make it out of 2020 unscathed. Sadly, it has been a hard year. People fell ill, financial struggles came roaring in, isolation became burdensome and we lost loved ones to that “darn Corona,” as my four year old daughter so frequently says. It has only been about a year, but it feels like a lifetime, as my almost two year old doesn’t know a world without face masks and buckets of hand sanitizer.

When the enormity of this started last year, my heart found itself in a constant state of racing. Like many, I don’t do well with the unfamiliar, with the uncertainty, with a sense of “will we make it out of this?” Staying home with the same six people every day started to feel suffocating. I adore my family but I began to feel claustrophobic, and my anxiety began to skyrocket. I started to fear the worst. “Lord what is happening? Is the world ending? Will my kids ever visit a library, museum or friend’s house again? Will this disease kill us? Will we ever be able to hug our loved ones? Will we end up in financial ruin? Will my kids begin to live in a world full of fear?

One afternoon, I was sitting in my daughter’s rocking chair, nursing her to sleep. My mind had been racing, with all the possibilities to come. My heart was crying to my Lord, begging for Him to change the course of the state of our current world. Like the good father that He is, He quietly responded. He so tenderly answered my prayers but not in the way I was expecting. He started to quietly whisper into my heart. “I can change things and I will. I can use this pain and heartache to make things beautiful and NEW, if people will just let me. Just wait and see.”

My eyes began to be flooded with visions of families laughing, families sitting together for dinner for the first time in years. I saw people forced to look each other in the eyes, to expose their pains and grievances. I saw veils of what seemed important and urgent falling off of previously blinded eyes. I saw the powerhouse of the family unit being reinvented, brought back to its roots, re-established in a new and beautiful way.

“The people dwelling in darkness have seen a great light.” Isaiah 9:2 couldn’t have been more poignant at this moment. My heart was overwhelmed in seeing that amidst the darkness, pain and fear that our world was living in, God’s overwhelming light can and will make things bright and new, if only we’d allow Him. In the same way that I throw my hands up into the shape of a ‘T’ as a signal to my kiddos that things are getting out of control and we need to take a “time-out”, our Lord allowed the world a needed pause.

Please know that I don’t say this to dismiss the tragedy, heartache and sheer crisis that this horrible coronavirus has caused. Yet, when we can set our hearts in knowing that our Lord is at work, we are able to recognize the light in the darkness. I mean when will you ever be able to say “No” like this ever again? When will the world ever give you an unshaming permission to ignore all seemingly important responsibilities so you can stay home and cuddle your loved ones, or simply spend some much needed and neglected time in prayer? Soccer practice- nope! That urgent meeting with the PTA- nope! That play your kids practiced- nope! The fundraiser event you worked so hard on – nope! The 117th birthday party this year – nope!

All these events are beautiful in and of themselves, yet when we live our lives racing around from one thing to the next, we start to bucket everything as urgent and important. Then sadly, the real urgently important job we have as spouse, parent, daughter, or friend begins to fade to the wayside. We can say running around for all these meetings at our kiddos’ school, are for the children. We can convince ourselves that working 99 hours a week is for our family. We can especially believe the lie that neglecting our family for the sake of our commitments at church is what God desires. Sadly, in a world that has grown to expect nothing less, we can convince ourselves that our busyness is how we love. Yet, when we haven’t had more than three minutes a week to sit face-to-face with the ones that so desperately want us, their eyes often cannot recognize the deep love hidden behind ours.

But it isn’t too late, but rather it is time for something NEW! As we enter this new year, rest your heart, cast aside your fear and know that our Lord desires to restore us to who we were designed and created to be. But let’s be clear here. God did not say all brokenness would be fixed, perfected, or simply disappear through this extra time we’ve had. In fact, in some homes, the mayhem may have only increased, the pain or loneliness only seemed darker, and the fear only stronger. Yet our Lord promised that “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4. Therefore, if we allow Him to move, if we’d invite Him in, if we make space for Him in our homes and specifically our hearts, maybe just maybe he can transform us from a broken and perfection seeking family to a messy and holy family.

No matter where you are on your journey, don’t be discouraged. Whether you are simply starting out your young adult life, or are gazing out towards grandchildren and beyond, it is never too late to let our Lord transform you and make you NEW. When our patterns, habits, or wounds feel unbreakable or unfixable we must not buy into the lie that God doesn’t want to be busy doing something new and astounding within you. Only our unwillingness to receive Him is stopping him. Our Lord assured our weary hearts in Isaiah 43:18 “Forget the former things! Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a NEW THING!”

So my friends, though I continue to pray unceasingly for an end to this horrible pandemic caused by the “darn Corona,” I will choose to believe that our Lord will bring beauty out of this darkness. I will live in the hope that one day sociologists will look back on this time and reflect on how this undeclared “Time-Out” caused people, and often families, to rethink, re-evaluate and re-establish the way they live. God will be smiling down and giving his people a gentle little wink. So have faith, hope and know that “if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

~Suzanne Bilodeau

Seeking Him

Big Girls Do Cry

December 13, 2020 No Comments

I listen to her ceaseless tears and I watch her cry, twist and yank the heavy covers over her dark, shiny and tossed hair. She aches for the children she doesn’t nourish with her motherly milk, the babies she never wraps up tightly in a swaddling cloth, and the hearts she doesn’t get a chance to encourage, comfort and help mold.

She mourns.

She weeps.

She laments.

Everyone understands it when the tragedy first lays down it’s heavy wooden cross; another pregnancy lost, another heartbeat stopped. The people come rushing in with flowers, meals and downward turned faces that quietly reveal their sympathetic souls.

But as the days, the weeks and months go by the unspoken message can be heard like a blaring trumpet “Time to move on, you have nothing left to cry about. You have four beautiful children running around your lively house, so stop weeping for the five little souls that only Christ now gets to hold.”

Tell that to the woman whose eyes see the tiny hands and feet of the little ones who would have been her child’s peer. Whisper those words to the heart of the momma who listens to her preschooler beg for a “real live baby” to hold and cherish.

Or how about the tears I’ve seen pour down from the single grandmother left stranded by the man who vowed to love her forever over 30 years ago. She mourns over the life she once knew, the traditions now broken, and the family now fragmented.

But once again, as the years begin to multiply her weary heart hears the silent words left behind by the people on the outside. “It is what it is, so wipe your tears and move on!”

This idea that tears have an expiration date breathes lies into the hearts of the women whose souls throb with pain or ache with a deep sorrow.

Yet, maybe you are one of the few that doesn’t put a time limit on tears. Maybe you can read these words and sympathize with a moved heart saying “No, no, Suzanne I can understand why these women cry, why they weep!”

But what about the momma I’ve seen well up with tears of exhaustion over the hours of middle school homework, the meals to cook, the bills to pay, the sleepless nights tending to a baby and a house with layers of sticky gook she can simply never find the time to cut through?

Should she not weep? Should she shove down her weariness and simply brave a face for all the world to see that screams “It’s fine, it’s fine, everything’s fine- My life is good, I have nothing to cry about! ”

We live in a broken inward facing world where people frequently search for something to fuss and roar about. We wave our little “I’ve been wronged” flags around expecting the people nearby to flex and mold in order to repair the cracks left by the injustices we feel.

Yet, as followers of Christ we can often see this disorderly function of the sue-happy world we live in and conclude: “I KNOW God is good, I KNOW He adores me, I KNOW His will is supreme, so I should find joy in Him and KNOCK IT OFF with all these tears!”

But this my friends is where we dishonor our good and glorious God by not allowing him into the most vulnerable, naked and exposed parts of our souls. The enemy loves to feed off the shame we feel for mourning “too long”, weeping “unnecessarily”, or for simply aching over a day’s hard work that has left us weary and deflated. But we must not fall into his sneaky trap.

For God, who is described as the Father of Mercies, God of All Comfort, (2 Corinthians 1:3) and God of Hope (Romans 15:13) is the same God who ….WEPT (John 11:35). After the death of Lazarus, not only did Martha and Mary weep but so did Jesus. Jesus, who knew that He would raise Lazarus from the dead, who knew He would spend eternity with his friend, and who knew there was greater work at hand, WEPT.

Jesus called Mary, who was weeping by her brother’s side, to come to Him. Jesus, all knowing, knew she had been mourning, and weeping in a pit of tears. Yet, He invited her to come to Him and met her right there in the depths of her lamenting sorrow and …He …WEPT. Similarly, God doesn’t ask us to muffle our tears, hide our afflictions or quiet our wails. Rather, He invites us to come to Him so that He can meet us in our pain and weep by our sides. He opens his arms and wants to absorb all of our tears and lamentations.

But friends we must be careful, because this is not an open summons to walk around complaining and whining with our hearts turned away from our Heavenly Father. Instead, it is an invitation to free our souls from the unwarranted shame of our pain and turn our tears towards our Lord. There is a beauty that transcends over the darkness of sorrow when it pivots our souls to gaze upon our Lord. Anne Voskamp said it beautifully, “Lament is a cry of belief in a good God, a God who has His ear to our hearts, a God who transfigures the ugly into beauty. Complaint is the bitter howl of unbelief in any benevolent God in this moment, a distrust in the love-beat of the Father’s heart.”

When we lament and turn our vulnerable, exposed, sorrowful and even angry hearts towards our Lord, it transforms these tears into a beautiful prayer. This honest prayer deepens our intimate relationship with Christ and then moves our souls towards a HOPE that lies with only God himself.

So maybe, just maybe, when you see her eyes about to pour out like a river overflowing, or feel your own heartbeat move with a rhythm of sorrow, you can wipe her tears, lean your heart upon our Lord and remember that “Yes, BIG GIRLS DO CRY!”

~Suzanne Bilodeau

Seeking Him

Grow Like a Tree

November 30, 2020 4 Comments

Okay, before you panic after reading the title, you have got to hear me out on this one. Although I do love the outdoors and exploring with my kids, please don’t stress – this is not some fluffy advice on “Being one with the trees.” Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to abandon or forget your God given human dignity and worth!

This all started when I was on my usual morning run weeks back. All seemed right and well that particular day (at least for those 36 minutes I was running), yet I felt restless. As I was turning a bend on a quiet crisp morning, suddenly something so simple, so obvious, so basic struck me. Look at all these trees with branches all entangled, bursting out and upwards! As I stared at the leaves, just starting to shimmer with the golden, crimson and ruby hues of autumn I realized something I’ve always known, but never thought through. Every tree I could see as far as my eye could carry, every Oak, Maple and Birch all grew upwards. These heavy leaf-burdened branches all fought to stretch out and up in search of its life giving warmth, the sun. Trees require sunlight for photosynthesis, a process for which a plant converts light, oxygen and water into energy. This much-needed process is required for a tree to grow, bloom and produce seed or fruit.

“OK, OK Suzanne, I’m bored! This is obvious elementary science 101” you say. But have you sat back and reflected on the simple yet brilliant submission of the trees to move as they were designed to, in order that they may grow and fully thrive. No one had to instruct them, sit them down, lecture to them, nor tell them that the light was there even when dark clouds kept it hidden. They all grew out and up, instinctively seeking out what they needed-the sun light. They didn’t need constant reminders that if their branches refused to listen to their God given design and grow down or hidden from the light they would eventually suffer from nutrient deficiency and would ultimately die.

From the time of germination, when the seedling bursts through the soil seeking out the light, to its mature state when the expansive branches continue to stretch up and out towards the heavens, this simple yet beautiful living creation knows to search for the sun. Without going into the nitty gritty science of what causes them to push and bend towards the light, we can still appreciate the beauty of their nature to simply seek what they need. Some trees need more sunlight than others in order to thrive . However, without enough sunlight a tree will eventually die. We, God’s most beautiful intricate and unique creation were also created with this God-given need for the light. Our wonderfully knit together souls are constantly fighting to tell our hearts and minds to look up to the heavens. In the deep cracks and often hidden crevices of our souls we KNOW that we too were created to move upwards towards the life-giving light, Christ himself. For Christ said “ I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life” John 8:12.

The restless angst we often all feel, as I was this particular day, is the subconscious awareness that we aren’t fully seeking out and growing towards this brightness. It is in this gaping hole of darkness which we fill with Instagram feeds, Facebook threads, fears, comparisons, and the distraction of busyness. We often feel temporary contentment with the complacency of soccer practices, meals to be cooked, meetings to attend and new shows on Netflix to binge. Yet, when our hearts are consumed with only things of this world we are ASLEEP – dormant versions of who God created us to be. This is why it is said, “Wake up sleeper rise from the dead and Christ will SHINE on you.” Ephesians 5:14. Christ wants to shine His abundant light and warmth upon us. But in order to thrive and in order to grow in His righteousness we, just as the trees so simply do, must open ourselves up, stretch and grow toward this life sustaining light, Christ. We must seek Him always and in everything.

This life we walk here on earth is often filled with dark cloudy days. The overcast of bills unpaid, children acting up, marital battles, or friendships strained, can often feel discouraging. Others have sat in years of stormy rain filled skies with loved ones lost, infertility heartaches, health issues or single parenthood, yet one thing remains. Behind the grey skies, or the hazy air, the sun and its impenetrable light is still there burning brightly. Our Lord similarly never abandons us.

We may not always see or feel God but, just as my younger self felt the aftermath of cloudy day sunburns, similarly God’s rays of love and mercy NEVER stop shining. God is an ever burning constant who desires to grow in intimacy with us so that the warmth of His graces can be poured out upon us. If only we would participate in this dance and move towards Him.

Did you know that plants, who are suffering from the stress of light deficiency become so keenly aware of their condition that they enter an emergency state of survival called etiolation? This is when they stop all other production and use all of their remaining energy and resources to grow up as high as possible to try to reach sunlight again! During dark or even lukewarm times, for which we have, consciously or subconsciously, tried to bury ourselves in the dark soil of this world, we too must become aware of our need for and lack of God in our lives. It can be difficult during these stormy or cloudy times to even recognize our need for this light. Yet, when we turn away from the light because it feels hidden behind a cloud of loneliness, dark storm of pain, or haze of complacency, our souls begin to starve from a God deficiency. We like the trees must pour our energy into reaching for the ever shining light and warmth of His goodness again.

We humans, like animals and many living things, do much of our growing when we’re young and then stop growing once we mature. But trees, it turns out, are an exception to this general rule. Scientists have discovered that trees actually grow faster the older they get. Though they do eventually reach a maximum height, if healthy, they continue to rapidly get bulkier. Now, I don’t mean like someone who fills out in the waistline, but rather they grow bigger and stronger like the human equivalent of a bodybuilder. They NEVER stop growing.

We are similarly on this never-ending journey to grow in spiritual strength and fortitude. We, like the trees, should never cease growing, but rather we should continue to bulk up on prayer, faith and a closeness with Him. Through prayer and an active seeking of Christ, we would grow in such spiritual strength that all those around us couldn’t help but recognize the fruit by which this relationship with our Lord would bear in our lives. Therefore, like the trees who reach for the light, and never stop growing; our hearts, minds and souls will blossom and produce the most tasteful fruit when we ceaselessly spend our moments, our days and our years REACHING FOR HIM!

~Suzanne Bilodeau